I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
