To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
