I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
