But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
