he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
