she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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