Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
