maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
