what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Randomize
