so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
50% drunk capacity currently
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
