Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
