She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
