I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I believe in your delicious
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
