you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
