Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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