Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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