Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
