I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
