Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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