end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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