carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Drake has all the answers
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
