She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
