there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
