erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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