He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
