You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
