Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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