how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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