her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
