my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
