That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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