He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
