i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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