I cockslap morals
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I have post one night stand depression
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
