If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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