She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
