she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
