Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
