is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
