Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
