i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
