I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
