I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
