I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
