If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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