All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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