Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
