Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I won the penis lottery.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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