im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
