Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
