I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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