NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
